Gray.

The color of this past year. The high and low moments, the light and dark have passed in a blur. Gray. When I think of what this year has taught me, of the places I have been, of the people I have met, I think of it all with a sigh of relief that the year is over, that this season is passing. There have moments of unbelievable beauty, standing on the side of a hill looking over the Spanish countryside, waking up to the orange sun over the Kansas cornfields. There have been moments of bittersweet sadness, leaving home for the first time, sitting on the floor of my room with a friend as we try to look up from our lowest points. There have been entire weeks and months of walking through life in a fog, not sure of who I am, even when I'm looking at myself in a mirror. But then there have been moments of clarity, moments when I was so sure of what I was to do, like it was written out before me. Graduation to new job to new home to new life. Oklahoma to Spain to Kansas. All of it has passed in a whirlwind. Friends who moved, friends I left behind, new friends who I must leave in a few days. My heart has planted itself in so many places this year. Home sits between two houses now, and I am torn to stay with them both. I think the year ahead will hold more simplicity, and hoping it will have more color. Good days, bad days, holidays, hellos, and goodbyes. Each high has had its low, each spot of light, its dark. In the haste of moving from location to location, set to set, state to state, the only color I see is gray. And I think it has been worth it all.